literally everyone’s in a relationship

Hello friend! Welcome to the blog! :)

It is officially February! Y’all I can’t believe that we are already one month into 2025, this is actually crazy!

How are y’all doing? Are you doing good? I hope that you have been having an amazing year so far; I hope that you are full of the joy of the Lord today!

But y’all today can we just have a little girl hang? Sorry to the male readers- I do still think that this could be relatable to you. But I am a woman, and so I think like a woman, I talk/write like a woman, and am coming from a woman’s perspective. So, I am going to be talking to my gals today. But men you are still welcome, I am not kicking you out. I just don’t want you to be offended if I am saying words like girl, my gal, or honey ok :).

So fam today we are just going to have an honest girl talk; let’s just be girlies together ok.

The honest girl talk of the day, is the fact that everyone is in a relationship, everyone is getting married, engaged, and having babies.

This is the elephant in the room. It seems like everyone around me is either dating, engaged or married, and having babies. Now I am not upset at all; I’m actually so excited for these people. I love marriage, I love covenant, I love babies, I just love love! Marriage is the closest picture of Jesus’s relationship with His church- which is the body of Christ- which is us! Marriage and covenant is a beautiful representation of God’s love for us; it is a gift from the Lord. And I absolutely love babies! Ya’ll babies are gifts from the Lord! So I am not complaining, in fact I pray that there is more. I pray there’s more God-centered, successful marriages!

Now fam, I am single. And, I am also 17 years old. So you may be like: “Ella, why are you even talking about this right now, you are so young and shouldn’t be worried about this.” My girls, I am not worried about it. I am actually thriving in my single season right now; and this isn’t to say that I don’t desire to be with a man of God. I do! I 100% do. I want to be a momma and a godly wife who does ministry with a godly husband. I want to have babies and show them what it is like to live for Jesus, and why it is so much better than living in the world. And I do get discouraged from time to time.

But one reason I am talking about this, is because I am seeing so many young people jump into relationships way too early. Can I just be a little brutally honest? Girls, I am seeing so many 13 year olds, so many 16 year olds, so many teenagers getting into relationships, and having babies. Whoa yeah I just said it. There are so many young girls who are acting like they are married, when they are still in grade school. Ya’ll this is devastating. Because then, babies are born. Yep, hmhm, this is what happens. And a lot of the young mammas, because they are in school, can’t take care of them. They can’t because they prematurely jumped into the marriage life, and then this little child of God, this gift from the Lord has to pay for it. Oh, it makes me want to cry, it really does.

Now, if you are a teenager, and if you have actually lived in this lifestyle; I want to say that there is no shame or condemnation. I am not judging you, and I am not shaming you at all. I actually love you so much so that I talk about this. Because I want what is best for you, and that lifestyle is not God’s best. This is not to be condemning, but it should be convicting. There is a big difference! Holy conviction is actually beautiful. It is a gift from God. When we feel conviction, we are able to repent of our sins and turn to God! So, if this blog post makes you feel a little sick in the tummy- that is not a feeling to push away, and it is not me condemning you. No, it is the Holy Spirit convicting you; calling you to repent and turn to Him because He loves you and has a much better life to offer you!

Ok, now this is a whole other topic so I’m not trying to bunny trail, but I thought that that was important to note!

Oh, and to all my 20+ year old girlies, this is for you too! :)

So, the elephant in the room is that it seems like everyone around is in a relationship. Especially with Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. And it may seem like a bigger elephant for all of us who are single. Now, I am coming from a POV of a single girly, but I do want to be sensitive to the people who may be married already, and possibly waiting to have babies. So, while I am coming from a single girly perspective, we are gonna be talking about babies today too. Let’s just talk about it fam, let’s just talk about it.

I don’t know if any of you feel this way, but I feel like the minute I start talking about this I sound like a cliche Christian girl who is just like “waiting for her Boaz and just waiting for her waiting season to be over and her man of God to come swoop into her life.” (Y’all can probably imagine what my voice sounds like when I say that 😂) I think that it is because so many people talk about this. But it is actually the truth; it’s the truth for so many of us! I do want to be a wife and mommy in my future, and I am that christian girl. I am that girl who gets discouraged from time to time and this is just me being honest.

I just want to get straight to the point. My gal, if you are single, you are not less than. You are not half of a person who will be complete after your Boaz comes. No you are whole in Christ Jesus, and Jesus alone. You don’t need a man of God to be fulfilled, you only need Jesus. In Romans chapter 7, Paul talks about singleness. He actually says that he wishes there were more single people in the world (v.7)! He is not saying marriage is bad, it isn’t it is a gift from God (Proverbs 18:22). But he is saying that there are so many benefits of being single. When you are single, you are able to be 100% focused and “devoted to the Lord in body and in spirit” (v.34) So, don’t look at this time as if you are in lack! In singleness, you actually have so many less distractions!

“If you are single, you are SUPER!!” -Pastor Samual VanderKlock of LifeWest Church

You are able to give yourself wholly to the work of the Kingdom! You have so much more freedom and are able to go on some amazing adventures with the Lord, that you can only do while you are single.

It is not wrong though to desire marriage. You don’t need to feel shameful and guilty for waiting to be married!! You don’t need to supress those feelings! Please don’t feel like you have done something wrong when you feel discouraged. It is ok to be sad. There are so many amazing things that come along with marriage. God created marriage! He saw that Adam was lonely and needed a human companion. That is why He created Eve and gave her to Adam to be his wife! So, it is ok to be sad, there is no shame! You have not betrayed God just for wanting to be married. Just don’t let those feelings have you! Whenever you are disappointed; by not being in a relationship, by not having a baby right now, go to the Lord! Just be still (Psalm 46:10) in His presence, and let Him comfort you! God is greater than our feelings; (1 John 3:20) He is greater than all feelings of sadness and discouragment!

And while you may be disappointed in the season of life you are in, trust that the Lord has got you! If you have surrendered to Him, are trusting Him, and are being faithful, then you can rest knowing that the season God has you in right now is for a reason! I know that this might sound super cliche, but your Man of God will come! God knows who he is. And God knows what needs to happen in both of your lives before they collide. While you may feel like you are ready, God knows what needs to happen in your heart and in His before you come together. In order to have a successful marriage, it needs to be on the foundation of Jesus. You both need to put God first, love God first before each other. So, perhaps the reason your man of God hasn’t come yet, is because God is waiting until you give your whole heart to Him! While you are waiting, work on your relationship with God! Refining yourself on the inside, making it more beautiful than your outside. (Proverbs 31)

In this season of waiting, you can be joyful, you aren’t in lack! I encourage you to not compare yourself to anyone else! Comparison is the thief of joy, and it says in the Bible that jealousy is like cancer to the bones! (Proverbs 14:30) Fufillment is in Jesus and Jesus alone, marriage is then an overflowing gift that the Lord gives you! Find your contentment in Jesus! And when your man of God comes, girls it will be so easy! When it is God’s will, you won’t have to force it. Your relationship will be rooted in Christ, you will both lead each other closer to Jesus. It says in Proverbs that:

“The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22

You are a treasure worthy of being found. Don’t settle. Don’t get impatient. Don’t take matters into your own hands. Flee from sexual sin (1 Corinthians 6:12-ch. 7) Again my gals, marriage is a gift from God that is supposed to be beautiful, not used for temporary pleasure that will make you feel more empty; that will take away your purity. A man of God will find you. He will have eyes only for you. He will pursue you; he will be willing to work for 14 years for you, just like Jacob with Rachel. (Genesis 29) And look at the fruit of his life before jumping into dating! I love these quotes from Ally Yost:

“You will always be the second option to every man until you are the first option to your husband.”

“Just because they read their Bible every day and they’re hot, doesn’t mean they’re your spouse. There are plenty of hot people who read their Bibles in the world. There’s lots of em. Don’t just jump on the first one you meet. I promise there’s more hot people who read their bibles. you gotta trust the Lord you gotta wait on God. if its not giving you peace, then its not from God. we’re not getting distracted this year, we’re staying on track with ABBA. He’s got it. We’re not loosing faith or hope this year!”

What more do I need to say? :)

Find your worth in God, not a man. You don’t need a man to be complete. God already approves of you, He already loves you with all that He is.

So, you can thrive in your singleness season honey!!